A Marriage Story

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The husband and I usually take an eternity to decide which movie to watch. When finally a decision has being made, he falls asleep during the first act, second act at weekends. So I end up watching them alone. And I am stuck with all my feelings, trapped inside, my pounding heart basslined by his rhythmic breathing.

I watched Noah Baumbach’s ‘A Marriage Story’ tonight. Quite late in the game, but I often catch myself postpoing intense cinematic experiences, because they throw you into a pit and if it’s done perfectly, they will not let you out for a long time. This film exceeded these expectations:  It feels so honest and in its honesty, it is so intense that I as a spectator felt raw. The acting is immaculate and the script masterfully brought me to root for both of the protagonists. I was mad with Nicole, I cried with Charlie. The letter at the end catapults the film into such a bitter-sweet ending that you want to rewatch the whole thing. ‘A Marriage story’ tells its love story in such a well-crafted manner, that the spectator rethinks their own relationship and lets them wonder, if they should wake their husband to apologize for all the times they were yelling to get heard, instead of also listening to their side.

For me, magic happens if fiction crosses the border to reality. You are part of an intimacy that you can’t escape from, but often want to escape to again. The key to this magic would be honesty, be it in movies, music or any other arts. The spectator doesn’t (always) know it, but honesty is what they are always looking for. Does the author or director or musician or artist honestly want to tell this story? Is there honesty and integrity in this storyline or shot or charcacter or lyrics? If truly so, magic happens and we are part of the story. It becomes our story. If a script is honest, it feels honest and that is something which makes it very hard to reject. Honesty sells or as William Shakespeare put it:

‘No legacy is so rich as honesty.’

‘Don’t start to write, it’s a trap!’ Baudelaire, 1867

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Writing about writing is probably the lamest thing a writer does. It seems very important to us to explain to people how hard writing is, comparable to drunk people who have to communicate that they are drunk (and worked hard for it). So, to defeat that cliché once and for all: Here is a piece about (screen)-writing.

You can find an endless stream of screenwriter tips, screenwriter books, screenwriter tutorials, screenwriter mugs and T-Shirts, but it always seems to me like this meme ‘how to draw an owl”. First you carefully start to outline the eye shape, the pupils, the eyelashes and then- you draw the rest until it looks like an owl.

Real ProTip: Before you start writing, do clean your house, re-arrange your books by colors and/or genre, ask the dog if he is a good boy and has to go outside (both times: Yes!), catch up with seven to twelve Netflix-series, bath in the blood of 12 virgins by moonlight, then but only then, you can start to write.  Maybe the dog has to go out again. But then.

I think, everybody has this terrible fear of the white page. This fear, let’s call it Earl, feeds from the following:

*fear of not being able to write down the idea you have in mind

*fear of not being able to write at all

*fear that the idea/characters/storyline turns out to be complete bs

*fear of you’ve written your shitty idea out, give it to a trustee (friend, producer, fellow screenwriter-producer-friend) and he/she/they say it is complete bs and why do you call yourself a screenwriter and that maybe you should look for a different job, maybe hand-model?

*fear of not being able to finish

Earl is an a-hole. A big one. Don’t listen to Earl. Tell Earl to fearl off. The trick I’ve found very useful to get rid of Earl is the following: You don’t have to write a whole script, or story line, character development or even scene. Just write for 15 minutes.

15 minutes is not that scary.  15 minutes you can fit in between anything: between meetings, between dog-walks, between a hot-dog-bun, between your ears. 15 minutes is do-able. Often I the write more than 15 minutes, sometimes I just set it aside and continue to stare at goats. I then look at it the next day. Sometimes I am relieved, because it turned out pretty okay and sometimes it is complete shite. But hey, no one saw it, except you (and maybe Earl) and you can just erase it and write another 15 minutes. You can not always write, but you can always work. And word after word after word, your treatment becomes alive. And you can join the writers’ ranks by chanting (in D):

“I hate writing, I love having written. (So fuck off, Earl.)”

                                                                          Dorothy Parker

Deus Ex Machina

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Deus ex machina (Latin: [ˈdeʊs ɛks ˈmaː.kʰɪ.naː]: /ˈdeɪ.əs ɛks ˈmɑːkiːnə/ or /ˈdiːəs ɛks ˈmækɪnə/; plural: dei ex machina; English ‘god from the machine’) is a plot device whereby a seemingly unsolvable problem in a story is suddenly and abruptly resolved by an unexpected and seemingly unlikely occurrence, typically so much as to seem contrived. Its function can be to resolve an otherwise irresolvable plot situation, to surprise the audience, to bring the tale to a happy ending, or act as a comedic device.

When I first started working in the film industry, I was quite at a loss for what I say when at a party and people would ask what I do for a living. It seemed so boastful to me to tell people I work in film. The reactions always were a tad too enthusiastic for me to handle. People would ensure me that my job is so much cooler (spoiler alert: it’s not), more exciting (if one would call backstabbing and non-existing tax returns exciting…yeah!) and more adventurous (standing in the middle of nowhere at minus 19 C° trying to write down script notes could be called that, indeed) than their office/lawyer/teacher job. They won’t listen when I try to tell them that, on the contrary, their jobs seem cool and exciting and adventurous and most of all: stable and hence comforting to me, but maybe that is a romanticized view of mine and nobody listens to no one, so fair is fair.

The perception that working in film is not only deeply fulfilling but also fills your pockets, is a common one, I recently learned. The tax office lady called and after a very harsh and quick monologue of hers, I dimly started to understand that they think I would misappropriate taxes. After a desperate try to make the lady understand, that I the salary on the tax declaration is indeed correct, she panted: ‘But Miss Gregory, it says here that you work in film.’ I shouted back: ‘Precisely!’

Apart from the money issues and the anxieties, the job can be fun and fulfilling and enriching and so much more. Standing on a set, creating a film and observing all these talented people do what they do best is one of the most beautiful feelings one can have as a filmmaker. People working in film are not in it for the money (at least not where I live), but because they share the same passion and they believe in the art of film making. That is why they work 14-hours-shifts and eat shitty food of the crafty table, just to do it all over again the next day.

For people who want to work in film, getting into the industry seems like a kind of “deus ex machina”, all the plots come together and the dream comes true-the end! In reality this is where the plot thickens and Murphy’s law kicks in. Join us, we have the stale cookies from crafty.